Perry Ferrell’s Cop Stache = Nightmare Fuel

Welcome to my blog. This page will give me a chance to vent and get things off my chest that bother me as well as tell you stuff that you SHOULD pay attention to.

Today’s topic: Perry Ferrell.

I love PF (as he will be referred to henceforth). I love Jane’s Addiction. I still own all two of the Porno For Pyros albums. I think Lollapalooza was neat when it featured actual rock music. I’m a fan.

But look. This is not okay:

PF is already a very strange looking person. Great front man, wonderful dresser, humble and weird human being, yes — but he also looks like an alien. The facial hair is not helping.

I’m using PF as an example here, but it speaks to a broader topic. Facial hair is not for everyone. I know that beards are cool and super trendy now. I look at Big J’s everyday. That being said, some of us are not meant to have it. Ever.

It’s important we know our bodies’ limitations. I don’t wear size XL shirts because I would look like 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound sack. I don’t grow facial hair because I would look like a creeper. That’s why I use Harry’s shaving products (shameless sponsor mention).

Here’s the problem. Some of you are in the same boat as me and grow facial hair anyway. Stop it. You’re better than that.

Perry Ferrell, you too. You’re better than this. Thanks to that mustache, and picture of PF looking down on me with a God-like look of disappointment on his face, I’m never sleeping again. Think about it, you guys.